Best dad jokes to celebrate our fathers

As soon as someone becomes a father he is mysteriously granted the ability to craft jokes with extra cheese. We all love them even if the overt jokes make us cringe a little (or a lot).

This Father’s Day we put a call out at our company to submit their favorite dad jokes. Laugh along with us as you read what our team submitted:

Enjoy and Happy Father’s Day!

• What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
• When my wife told me I had to stop impersonating flamingos, I had to put my foot down.
• What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bison!
• I just flew back from a ravioli convention … Boyardees arms tired!
• I just applied for a job at the diner. They said I brought a lot to the table.
• Where do bad rainbows go? Prism, but it’s only a light sentence.
• A bill collector just called me, saying, “Your bill is now a year old.” I told him to tell it “Happy Birthday” and hung up.
• Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
• I recently started taking a new medication. It seemed to be working well, except that I started breaking out in hives all over my body. I called my doctor, and he told me to go to the ER ASAP, but I told him I thought that was a rash decision.
• Why are email marketers so good at opening jars? They’re obsessed with improving their open rates.
• Why was the basketball court wet? Because the players kept dribbling on it.
• Why are skeletons such bad liars? You can see right through them.
• They should make a beer called “Occasionally.” So, when asked, I can say I drink Occasionally.
• I have a speed bump phobia, but I’m slowly getting over it.
• What is a digital marketer’s favorite kind of cake? Funnel.
• I had a great joke about COVID … but I don’t wanna spread it around.
• Why was the picture arrested? Because he was framed.
• I took my giant spoon to cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
• Why did everyone say the pepper was a nosy neighbor? No matter who you were, he was jalapeno business.
• People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones. But people in Abu Dhabi do!
• I’ve been in the dating world for a while, but I never found someone with all the things I was looking for. My friends all told me I set my bar too high so I lowered it and took a shot. Now I’m just drunk and single.
• What do you call emergency cheese? Just in Queso.
• You know what my dad said after I gave him his 50th birthday card? You know, one would have been enough.
• What word starts with E and ends with E, but only has one letter in it? Envelope.
• What does a computer call its father? Data.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? “arrrrr”? Nay, ’tis the C he truly loves.
• Where do mansplainers get their water? From a well, actually…
• I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate.
• What do you call it when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover? A rash of bad luck.
• Which country’s capital is the fastest growing? Ireland’s. Every year it’s Dublin.
• (To be said when driving by cows lying down). Hey. You know what you call those cows (pointing to the cows lying down)? Ground beef!
• Do you know where happiness is made? The Satis-factory!
• Why aren’t chickens allowed in church? Because they use fowl language
• Boss: How good at you at PowerPoint? Me: I Excel at it
• Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun? Me: Word

Dads as soon as they step in Home Depot:

Happy Father’s Day from all of us at Medium Giant!